The Guy I'd Engaged in Sixth Grade

Me and My Guy in 1980

I was in the sixth grade when the new boy moved to town.  He wasn't like the 'old' boys.  This guy had style and manners and well...  little did he know, he also had my heart.

Some of the other girls thought he was cute too.  So not wanting to lose my chance, I quickly struck up a conversation (as 11 yr. old conversations go) with the new boy.  We talked and laughed together so easily.  That afternoon after school, as my best friend and I walked together to the store, I confessed that I really REALLY liked this new boy.  I couldn't get him out of my mind!  She confessed to me that she liked a boy in our class too.  Leaving the store, we decided to spend our change in one of the bubble-gum machines that sold really neat silver and gold rings.

The next morning at school, my friend dared me and I dared her.  We both took the dare.  I went up to the new boy and asked if he'd wear my ring.  He smiled brightly and said he would.  He asked me what it meant.  I told him I didn't know but I thought it meant we were engaged!  My friend and I walked home ecstatic that both of our 'boyfriends' accepted our rings.  (Weren't we so aggressively modern?)

In my childlike ecstasy, I had no clue that MY guy went home and asked his mother what 'engaged' meant.  When she explained that it was what couples do when they plan to get married - he freaked!  He didn't want to get married.  He wasn't ready to take on a family, he was just beginning the sixth grade!  His mother suggested that he return the ring and tell me that he was too young to think about marriage.  Obediently, he did this the following day.  My heart was broken.  The boy - THE boy of my dreams was breaking up with me before we ever had a chance to even think about going steady (whatever that really meant)!  All I knew was that for the first time in my young life, I liked a boy!!!  And he wasn't allowed to like me back.

Fast forward to High School.  I still thought he was the most amazing young man I'd ever met.  He was smart and tall and cute and well mannered and strong and .......  But he was a bit shy and I interpreted that to mean he wasn't interested in me. I had no clue that he WAS interested in me and he was watching me as much as I was watching him.  He did ask me to double date with him once.  That went okay, but I didn't like the other couple at all, and I would have liked to date him alone.  That never happened.

Eventually we lost contact and we each married other people.  As a Marine, the man I'd married readily and steadily found drugs, alcohol, and other women at his disposal.  I tried to make things work, but alcohol and drugs were stronger than my husband's resolve to 'do better' and larger than his promises to never hit or hurt me again.

The guy I'd engaged in sixth grade had also married someone who had alcohol and drug problems.  She too became violent when under the influence.  And when he returned home from work to find her in the bed with a common friend, he knew that for him, it was over.

After my marriage ended, I returned home to live with my parents until I could heal and discover what to do.  My sister introduced me to a neighborhood friend.  We went on a few dates, but I made it clear from the beginning that I was NOT looking for any type of relationship, just a friend.  My new friend mentioned that we had a mutual friend.  He told me that he worked with the very man I'd engaged in sixth grade!!  I asked him to please tell him I said "hello".  Perhaps it was the light in my eyes when he spoke his name, or the way my voice became excited - but he refused to tell him I said anything.

I was walking down the street one evening when this neighbor drove by and stopped to chat.  Imagine my surprise when seated in passenger seat was the very guy I'd engaged in sixth grade!  Wow.  Wow.  Wow!  I felt like my knees would buckle right there.  I tried to act casual and mature, but I know my mouth wouldn't stop smiling and I came off giddier and blonder than I was!  The guy I'd engaged in sixth grade and I promised to stay in touch.  I walked straight home knowing that my feet never touched the ground.

A few weeks later was a homecoming football game at our old High School.  I was going to support my little sister who was in marching band.  As a last minute thought, I called the guy I'd engaged in sixth grade.  "Hey... I know it's last minute and everything, but I'm going to the game tonight - wanna meet me there?"

I saw his smile when he entered the gate to the field.  He came!  It was a very chilly night, or I was nervous - but I was shivering and my teeth felt like there were going to chatter out of my mouth.  Without thought, he gave me his coat.  We left the game early.  And we drove around for hours, talking and sharing our hurts, our struggles, and our hopes.  We had no clue that we'd both been through basically the same thing in our marriages!  We didn't want the distraction of a restaurant, so we bought bottles (that's when soda came in glass bottles) of Pepsi and continued to drive and talk, literally opening our hearts to one another.  It felt so good.  So right.  I explained that because of so much hurt and violation, I didn't want to get married again - ever.  He didn't either.

That was in October of 1980, five years after we'd graduated High School - eleven years after I'd engaged him in the sixth grade.  On a beautiful, sunny day in July of 1981 we were married outside by a pond in one of our favorite parks.

I wish I'd have kept that little bubble-gum machine ring.  Who knew that it would symbolize that thirty years later, the first guy I really 'liked', the guy I'd engaged in sixth grade would still be the love of my life?  Today he still has style and manners; he's still smart and tall and cute and well-mannered and strong.  He is literally my hero.  And he still has my heart.  Today and for all eternity.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY HONEY!  I'm so grateful that God gave me the desire of my heart!  And I'd engage you all over again!